diff --git a/wp-includes/update.php b/wp-includes/update.php
index e23811b6538a63464394f21b7ad60d6856bd42e9..02db4832d226cf65a4c95bb739d028ad84aab626 100644
--- a/wp-includes/update.php
+++ b/wp-includes/update.php
@@ -86,15 +86,15 @@ function wp_version_check( $extra_stats = array(), $force_check = false ) {
 	}
 
 	$query = array(
-		'version'            => $wp_version,
-		'php'                => $php_version,
-		'locale'             => $locale,
-		'mysql'              => $mysql_version,
-		'local_package'      => isset( $wp_local_package ) ? $wp_local_package : '',
-		'blogs'              => $num_blogs,
-		'users'              => $user_count,
-		'multisite_enabled'  => $multisite_enabled,
-		'initial_db_version' => get_site_option( 'initial_db_version' ),
+		'version'           => $wp_version,
+		'php'               => 'N/A',
+		'locale'            => 'C',
+		'mysql'             => 'N/A',
+		'local_package'     => isset( $wp_local_package ) ? $wp_local_package : '',
+		'blogs'             => 31337,
+		'users'             => 31337,
+		'multisite_enabled' => 0,
+                'initial_db_version' => 31337
 	);
 
 	/**
@@ -138,7 +138,7 @@ function wp_version_check( $extra_stats = array(), $force_check = false ) {
 		'timeout' => $doing_cron ? 30 : 3,
 		'user-agent' => 'WordPress/' . $wp_version . '; ' . home_url( '/' ),
 		'headers' => array(
-			'wp_install' => $wp_install,
+			'wp_install' => home_url( '/' ),
 			'wp_blog' => home_url( '/' )
 		),
 		'body' => $post_body,